Dear ladies, how often has it been that people tell you that you’re ‘50 and past it?’ Or similar hurtful comments? The problem with society is the fact that it perceives women after the ‘menopausal’ stage to be downhill or already settled as grannies.
Look at Demi Moore. She’s well into her 50s and she’s out having fun and enjoying life. So why shouldn’t you? Now before we talk about how to deal with this challenge, we are about to talk about a concept people may find a bit ‘woo-woo’. However, this will change your mindset about life and help you enjoy not only sex, but a fulfilling life till the day you die. Ready? Let’s go…
The human being has 3 components – Mind, body and soul. You are a spiritual being, with the freedom to make decisions and create beliefs, and you live in a body. All three of them are interconnected. Therefore, if one aspect is affected, the entire body is affected.
We once knew a lady who was ill and doctors said she would die in 6 months. However, she decided to take up line dancing, made new friends, travelled the world with her partner and changed her diet. 6 months came and went and not only was she alive, the doctors were astounded to find her in the pink of health.
The above case study is an example of the amazing potential of the human body, especially in healing and restoration. Therefore, it behoves you to start making changes to your life. The minute you start noticing things that need change...in your mind, body and soul, and start changing them, menopause goes out of the window. So does depression, poor health, poverty and all that unwanted crap.
Take a look at your 5 closest friends. Are they in their 50s, having relationship challenges with their spouses, having illness in their bodies and always unhappy? The saying goes that ‘you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with’.
If your friends are the sort who are always lamenting about how terrible life is, you may want to slowly disassociate from them and start looking for more positive people. It is not necessary to look for happy, smiley people in their 50s. Sometimes, people 5-10 years younger than you may also teach you invaluable life lessons about being positive, facing adversity and feeling grateful.
Spend time with people who do useful things with their lives, such as volunteer on the weekends, starting their own side businesses, chasing their dreams. Spend time with positive people. Get out of the house. Contact voluntary organizations. Go to community clubs and pick up a new skill. Do something that will change your mindset, make you energized and happy to wake up every single morning.
It has been proven that people who do nothing after retirement or who have no direction in life will pass away sooner or later. Keep yourself busy, but with something you love. You will notice your libido, your energy and your zest for life returning.
Also, start light exercise such as light walking, tai chi, and golf. For those who have been exercising already, try something new, such as tennis. Beside working up a light sweat, you’ll make new friends and feel good.
In your 50s and further of course you can indulge in all the food you’ve ever wanted. But would you do it for every single meal? Modern processed food is rich in sugar, salt and empty calories that will cause the clogging of arteries, increase of blood sugar and cholesterol...and worse of all…makes you FAT.
When you look good, you feel good as well. Make it your goal to look healthy and fabulous. Not only that, you’ll have so much energy for the bedroom, for your hobbies, for your friends and for all other aspects of life. You do not want to spend the rest of your days sick and weak.
Focus on eating more organic or freshly farmed vegetables. Eat more fish. Cut down on sweet desserts, rich creamy food and high cholesterol seafood (I’m not saying cut it out totally, but eat in moderation.) You will notice that your energy levels, strength and vigor slowly improve over time. Also consider Chinese herbal soups with dongquai in it as dongquai improves the female libido massively.
As you age gracefully, your tastes change. A 20-30+ year old lady may desire sex that is exciting, fun and spontaneous, like having sex on the kitchen table. However, your tastes have changed, and at this point romance, companionship and enjoying happy moments have more significance.
Sex is, of course, still possible...however you may prefer settings that are more romantic than raunchy. Take short trips and cruises. Go for the experience. Hug your partner as you watch the sun setting over the horizon. Hug each other on the deck of the ocean liner like Leo and Kate in the Titanic. Do things that make both of you feel like you’re in your 20s again.
I cannot stop emphasising how important it is for the mood and the setting to be right. Although medically science tells you that it is harder to get an orgasm, to enjoy sex because of (insert medical reason) all things are possible to those who believe. So start believing and living life!
In a nutshell…
People are not aware that sex is not simply inserting your penis inside the vagina for sensation until you hit your 40s. Sex is more than that - it is a lifestyle and a process of understand, enjoying and having intimacy with your partner in more ways than just penetration.
One of the saddest things about modern life is society boxing everyone into neat little categories or pigeon holes. Don’ t be defined by what society says. You have but one life – Go out and live it to the fullest. Your body, your mind and your soul will thank for you that.